If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This is the high leading the old right now
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
