When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
