No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
