Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
