i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
