HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
