You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
