I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
