she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
