I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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