The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
