Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
