Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
