Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
