I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
