she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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