I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize