I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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