I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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