it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
