I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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