Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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