There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think a kid would responsible me up
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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