yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
