You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
