Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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