Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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