Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
