Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
