I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
