So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
