Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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