ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
