gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
