brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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