What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize