the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
