Who did Billy Mays play for?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
