like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
