you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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