I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You smell like stripper and shame
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
