You just made me feel so damn special
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize