i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
