I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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