i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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