Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
