i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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