I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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