This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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