Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
