if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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