im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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