i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
