I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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