The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
