Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
