i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
