Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize