I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Shame - the story of my life.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize