I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize