Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
